N'moTion

The real pandemic in this world is fear. It spreads quicker than any wildfire or plague, and has the ability to destroy economies, nations, and humanity. As daunting as fear is, there is an innate antidote that can remedy and reverse the destruction caused by it: truth. For too long, I have allowed my fear of rejection and ridicule to fester, sickening me with the need to escape my loneliness through my addiction to methamphetamine. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice, and I no longer wish to choose to vomit negativity, infecting the people I love. Recovery is a long road, but it becomes easier to navigate with the spiritual compass of faith. My faithlessness is what kept me susceptible to fear and all of its destructive symptoms. Although faith comes from within, it is not easy to find when you lack the clarity that only sobriety can provide. One cannot find faith without seeing the truth that lies within through the humbled eyes of honesty. Where there is a lack of faith, there is an abundance of fear, chaos, and destruction. N'moTion is my poetic diary where I come clean about my junkiness to my loved ones and mostly to myself. It has allowed me to see myself for who I truly am and has provided me the clarity I need to shine a light on my destructive patterns, so I won't be my own obstacle preventing me from reaching my desired destination. The truth is, it is my choice whether I wish to feel love and spread It's wonder or relish in fear until it kills me. I have faith that love will conquer all, and I hope sharing my experiences will show others who are sick and suffering that they are not alone and inspire them to learn to love themselves, moreover each other as others have inspired me. Once we believe we deserve to feel better and be fulfilled, the true healing can begin.